'We're Not Good!' Just How Long Must Texas Rangers Owner Be Right?

*There was a time when getting 20 points at home with the Texas Longhorns was unheard of and – if it ever happened – a slam-dunk gambling winner. That time is not Saturday. 

Since at least 1975 – I admit, I got tired of researching – Texas has never been bigger than a two-touchdown underdog at home. That was in 2014 when they lost to Baylor, 28-7, as a 14-point dog. But now comes Alabama, rolling into Austin with more talent, a better coach and a distinctly superior quarterback (Bryce Young over Quinn Ewers, anybody?) 

If Texas somehow wins, it will be its biggest point-spread upset since beating Baylor as a 20.5-underdog in 2015. The Longhorns also shocked No. 3-ranked Nebraska as a 20.5-point dog in the 1996 Big 12 Championship Game. But, let’s be honest, considering where the Crimson Tide has been recently and where most experts believe they are headed again come January, this would be THE biggest upset in Texas’ history. 

For what it’s worth, Nick Saban’s teams are 10-5 against the spread as 20+-plus road favorites.

*Sign some of us – ahem – are getting old. The iPhone 14 was unveiled by Apple this week. Question to myself: “Which iPhone do we have, again?” Answer to myself: “One that works perfectly fine. Don’t even think about it.”

*A year ago Dak Prescott passed for 403 yards and three touchdowns and it wasn’t enough to beat Tom Brady. Will Sunday night’s game crack my list of the 10 Most Memorable Openers in Cowboys history?

*Well, whatd’ya know? It seems some in the Bible Belt are cherry-picking which of the Ten Commandments to follow and which to conveniently ignore. Dallas, among the nation’s Top 30 most “Bible-minded” cities, championed overturning Roe v. Wade but yet finds itself as the most – No. 1 in America – unfaithful city. The 7th Commandment is something about adultery. The Commandment about abortion doesn’t exist.

*Queen Elizabeth II met 14 American Presidents, outlived eight of them, transcended the reigns of five Popes, witnessed the rise and fall of the Berlin Wall and yet, sadly, never saw the Rangers win a World Series.

*Hot.

*Not.

*Serious question: If he had to choose one, would Luka Doncic pick winning an NBA championship with the Mavs or a gold medal with Slovenia? He has a $215 million contract urging him to choose one, but my gut says his heart says the other.

*If you’ve followed my mentoring journey with Ja over the last two years, you know he’s a fantastic kid that just needs a little, well, mentoring. There are lots in DFW just like him. Ahead of North Texas Giving Day on Sept. 22, please consider a donation to Big Brothers Big Sisters. $50,000 and counting …

*Not surprisingly, Sunday night’s Cowboys-Buccaneers ticket is one of the hottest in the NFL all season. According to this website, the median price for a seat at AT&T Stadium is a cool $420. Only Cowboys game more expensive this season in their visit to Lambeau Field in November ($491, No. 3 on the list). Priciest? 49ers at Raiders in Las Vegas: $680.

*Talk about leg room! A DFW passenger – who just happens to be one of the few genuinely great guys in DFW radio – last week was treated to a private jet the size of 737. Question: If you had the whole plane to yourself, where would you sit?

*Rangers’ No. 1 prospect will share something with one of the team’s Hall of Famers when he makes his hyped debut Friday night in Arlington: No. 6. Much fuss has been made about Cowboys’ speedster KaVontae Turpin taking Tony Romo’s No. 9, but now Josh Jung has snagged the same number of Texas’ former outfielder and GM and current broadcaster Tom Grieve. The Rangers need Jung to be Grieve much more than the Cowboys need Turpin to be Romo.

*Wait, no way this parking job deserved a ticket. Did it?

*Can’t wait until Sunday night for your Cowboys’ fix? Simple. Just turn on your TV. Almost every network boasts a prominent analyst with strong Cowboys ties. Your blue-and-silver roster:

CBS: Tony Romo, Steve Beuerlein (college)

NBC: Jason Garrett

Fox: Jimmy Johnson, Daryl Johnston, Mark Sanchez, Marcellus Wiley, Micah Parsons, DeMarco Murray (college)

ESPN: Troy Aikman, Marcus Spears, Chris Canty, Joey Galloway (college)

NFL Network: Michael Irvin, Brian Baldinger

*Sad: Deep Ellum has become, in part, so dangerous that – after 28 years – the Deep Ellum Arts Festival is kaput. Seriously, what is Deep Ellum without art?

*Takes some mental gymnastics so I hope you’ve stretched, but hear me out. The last time the Cowboys won the Super Bowl: Their quarterback was in Year 7, LSU lost in their new head coach’s debut and the Super Bowl was in Arizona. This year: Dak Prescott is in Year 7, LSU lost in Brian Kelly’s first game and Super Bowl LVII is February 12, 2023 in … Arizona. Destiny or just dumb?

*Brady is 6-0 against the Cowboys. Only two quarterbacks had longer winning streak against them: Randall Cunningham (eight straight with Eagles 1987-92) and Frank Ryan (seven with Browns 1963-66). Brady’s six wins are the most against the Cowboys without a loss. Second on that list: 5-0 Joe Montana.

*When Brady was drafted by the Patriots (4.15.00), Cowboys’ rookie offensive lineman Tyler Smith was … a year from being born (4.3.01).

*Former Cowboys quarterback and current radio analyst Babe Laufenberg – who’s in the know as much as anyone in DFW about the team – says he’ll give $1,000 to charity if receiver Michael Gallup plays Sunday night. I’m pretty sure Babe can leave his checkbook at home. But not $1,000 sure.

*Former Mavericks’ shooting guard Jason Terry has himself a coaching career. The Jet has landed on the runway in … Salt Lake City, as an assistant on new coach Will Hardy’s bench.

*Emmitt Smith, football commissioner? Well, yeah. Sorta. Not sure what the Hall of Fantasy League is, but he’s the king of it.

*Labor Day: The holiday that marks when we stop doing and merely start watching. Rank the holidays? Sure, okay:

1. Memorial Day

2. New Year’s Eve

3. Fourth of July

4. Christmas

5. Thanksgiving

6. Halloween

42. Labor Day

111. Valentine’s

*This Weekend? Friday let’s sneak in some tennis. Saturday let’s cover our eyes and watch Texas-Alabama. Sunday let’s visit the parents before Cowboys-Buccaneers. As always, don’t be a stranger.