Man dresses as mascot, romps his way through Charlotte

by Vincent Frank

Every once in a while you read a story that you have to go back to in a couple minutes and read again to make sure it was real.

This is one of those stories.

It's a story of two friends who had a little too much to drink at a Beerfest at BB&T Ballpark in Charlotte, North Carolina. It includes a minor league mascot being "borrowed" and mentions of Hooters. Yes, it's one of those stories — likely the plot of an inevitable sequel to "Old School".

Joe Gillespie. Remember that name moving forward here. One of the men mentioned above, who might have had a little bit too much to drink at the Beerfest. He's the star here.

According to Joe, it all started with him attempting to act the part of a mature adult, all the while drunk off America's favorite adult beverage.

“I told Mark (his friend), ‘I have to run upstairs and get some food, because I’m drunk.’ I ran upstairs and ate barbecue and that was about the last thing I remember," Joe said in an interview with Ryan Pitkin of Creative Loafing. "The event ended at 9 p.m., but the next thing I remember I wake up at about 12:30 a.m. on Sunday and I’m at the bottom of a stairwell with no idea where I am."

I am pretty sure we have all been there before. Waking up at some odd hour with no idea where we are after a night of throwing down with friends. 

What happened next...well, I am pretty sure most of us couldn't even imagine concocting one of the most awesome plans in the history of early-morning drunken stupors.

Joe then made a call to his friend, Mark, who proceeded to ask where he was. Joe, dealing with the feeling of waking up from a beer induced coma, had no idea. Sitting in the stairwell, Joe figured he was still in the ballpark — the home of the Triple-A Charlotte Knights.

"He (Mark) said he was at Hooters, so I told him to stay there. I start walking down the hallway to leave and I look to my right and see the mascot dressing room. I thought, there’s no way this door is unlocked. I turned the handle and it opens right up and there’s the damned costume. 

So, I suited right up, walked out the door and proceeded to Hooters. I walked right up into Hooters and my buddy didn’t even know it was me. I was ragin’ dude."

Of all the dumb things to think about doing when drunk, this might top the list. To Joe, the idea of putting on the Knights mascot and romping his way through the remainder of the early-morning hours seemed to be too good to pass up.

Joe continued:

"I left Hooters and there was a big line at Tilt (a local watering hole) next door. I just said, “Yo man, can I go in?” The guy said, “No,” and I was like, “Dude, You’re not gonna let Homer the [bleepin’] mascot into your bar right now?” Then he said I could go in. There was nobody on the dance floor."

In costume, Joe proceeded to take to the dance floor at Tilt with moves he described always wanting to try, but being too embarrassed to. After going up and down the downtown area of Charlotte in a bicycle and taking laps as if he were in a parade, Joe called it a night. It was around 3:30 a.m.

No harm, no foul.

Unfortunately for Joe, police showed up at his door that night. He was eventually charged with breaking-and-entering and larceny, both felonies.

As Joe awaits the outcome of his criminal proceedings, he's still feeling the impact of that grand night out:

“I got like three numbers that night and have added like 20 chicks on Facebook," Joe said. 

Who says true love is dead?