Best and worst concessions around Major League Baseball

Ham, sliced pork, salami and Swiss cheese on a grilled roll. Simple but amazing. 

Sorry, but I am not going to a baseball game to order a salad. I couldn't care less if it's a taco salad with the shell being deep-fat fried. Try again, Boston. 

The whole idea that New York has the best pizza is a joke. It's all about Chicago and its deep dish brand. Beggars is the best you can do at U.S. Cellular Field. 

Three's definitely a debate to be had about Sriracha. While I am not a fan, that's not the issue here. Deviled eggs at a baseball game? This isn't your grandmother's post-church get-together, Detroit. 

Ever gone to a summer fair and wanted to try deep-fried Oreos? Well, that's highly recommended heading into the summer. Now, imagine all the great stuff in a S'more added to that tastiness? It's a party in your mouth. 

Why? If I wanted a taco, I would eat a taco in a taco shell. Sounds reasonable, right? Chorizo sausage with all the Latino-food fixings in a hot dog bun? I'll pass. 

Now this is just plain mean to those of us who could eat a snack-size Snickers and still gain 10 pounds. The Churro dog? Well, it's a Churro inside of an eclair with vanilla ice cream, whipped filling, caramel and chocolate. Yeah, you'd be loving life eating this sucker. 

Really? Everyone is trying to get that Latin influence in there. Here's a hint. If you want to create Irish nachos, make sure they are in fact Irish nachos. There's this thing called Google. It works. 

We already hit on the Cuban sandwich in Tampa, but this takes that idea to an entirely new level. Sliced ham, pulled pork and Swiss cheese surrounding a 100 percent all-beef hot dog inside a pretzel bun. In the words of Elaine Benes, "get out." 

It's a hamburger topped with bacon and a fried egg. That's perfectly reasonable and absolutely delicious. But using a doughnut as the bun? You've got to be kidding me. 

Come on. Named after Jim Thome, this is simply extraordinary. It's a hot dog with onions and sauerkraut. Cool enough, right? Well, add a pile of pierogies. If you never had a good pierogi, you haven't lived life. Mix in a huge hot dog, and it's heaven in your mouth. 

Can't we do something original with bacon? It's God's gift to the universe, and all you do is fry it and put it on a stick? Come on, Texas, ya'll need to get more creative. 

Imagine nachos coming in the form of a corn dog. Yes, you got that right ... on a stick. Rolled up seasoned taco meat, covered with refried beans and breaded with crunched-up Doritos before being deep-fat fried. Really?

OK, so this isn't at every Rays home game. It's a challenge the team presents fans every season. Eat a four-pound hamburger, and get free tickets. That's unless you don't survive the excursion into the abyss of beef overload. Yuck! 

We wanted to add the bloody Mary they sell about a half hour from Miller Park in Milwaukee, but that's against the rules. Instead, let's go with this variation in Minnesota. It's a meal inside the drink. No lie. A slice of pepperoni pizza with cheese and sausage as well as your normal drink toppings. Yes, please. 

This is where I draw the line. I've had a mac n cheese burger at Guy Fieri's restaurant. It was darn good. But there's no reason to extend this to hot dogs. That's only magnified when you try to put fish on a beef "sandwich." Come on, now. You're in Baltimore. Eat a hot dog with a side of mac 'n cheese, and wash it down with a crab cake. Duh. 

A hot dog smothered in fried cheese and topped with crab dip on a pretzel roll. I got nothing. 

Is there actually a real reason for this? That's all I got, folks.

Chicken and waffles, a southern favorite. Now, put the fried chicken inside a waffle cone, add mashed potatoes, and make it worthwhile to hang in the 100-degree summer heat that Houston brings. 

Again, what's the reasoning behind this? If I want something deep-fried, it's going to be an Oreo or something. It most definitely won't be a pretzel. They're called soft pretzels for a reason, people. 

Simple, yet so yummy. Gordon Biersch garlic fries are a staple of the sports scene in Northern California. They are so garlicky that you need to wash them down with a cold beverage. Spicy and tasty. So good. 

Your typical nachos. You know, the ones you get at Taco Bell or Dell Taco for 79 cents? Well, they are $6 in Oakland ... and pretty darn gross. 

Go to Milwaukee, foodies. A hot dog stuffed in a brat, wrapped in bacon and loaded with kraut. Give me a freaking break, guys and gals. 

It's a Philly cheesesteak sandwich and a hot dog wrapped into one. Alone, those two things are American traditions. Together? Meh. It doesn't even look that appetizing to be honest. 

So they served expired food once. Who cares? Nachos with famous barbecued Kansas City brisket and corn-covered cheese on top. Nachos are great. Brisket from K.C. is amazing. Cheese is special. Add it all up, and we have a winner. 

OK, so they've crossed that imaginary line. Country-fried smoked rib meat with Monster energy drink sauce on a Hawaiian bun with coleslaw on the top. Nah. 

This is definitely something I can get behind. Dipping the cob in buttermilk batter and deep-frat frying it. Oh, yes. 

I hate to do this to the good folks in Atlanta, but here the Braves are for a second consecutive time. A 20-ounce hamburger patty with five slices of cheddar cheese. OK, that's fine, right? Well, considering the buns are two eight-inch pepperoni pizzas ... no that's not fine. 

Sensing a theme here? Kansas City sure knows how to do its food. This is mac' n cheese topped with pulled pork, pepper jack sausage and bacon. So, what did you have for dinner? 

They are not Irish nachos. Since when did Irish nachos become kettle chips topped with jalapeno queso and roasted tomatoes? Learn what Irish means, Houston. Thanks!