Found July 11, 2013 on Sports by Colin:
“Sexual napalm,” successful crooner, and substandard thespian Jessica Simpson turned 33 on Wednesday, July 10. Born in Abilene, Texas, the 5-foot-3, 130 pound Simpson is a fixture in tabloids who was ranked the topflight snatch by Maxim in 2004. Removed from the limelight, the sweltering Texan was deflowered by Nick Lachey on their wedding night in October 2002. Unable to feel Lachey’s rod, the blond-haired, brown-eyed Simpson clipped the singer and actively pursued fresh heat seeking moisture missiles. The daughter of a homosexual youth minister, Simpson has taken meat from Jensen Ackles, Adam Levine, Fred Durst, Bam Margera, Dane Cook, … Continue reading →
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