Originally written on Extra Pine Tar  |  Last updated 9/26/14
Most people saw a bunch of Lance Armstrong DVD’s were available and said to themselves, “Why the hell would anybody ever buy those things? That man is a fraud and a one balled liar. We all know the secrets behind the success and they all came from a lab.” But Karl Baxter isn’t most people. Karl is a risktaker and a business man, so when he saw that he had the ability to buy Lance Amstrong DVD’s in bulk he decided that the obvious move was to purchase as many as he could afford and sit on them till this whole little issue of Lance lying, cheating and intimidating his way to 7 Tour de France championships blew over. You see – Karl Baxter is an idiot. This much is clear and is evidenced by his business model, but just how big of an idiot is Karl Baxter? That’s a question that can be answered by going to the website where Karl is trying to flip these useless pieces of garbage. If you click on the link here you can see what I’m talking about. “Also widely known for being the first man on the moon, Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France a record seven consecutive times, making him one of the most successful cycling athletes in the history of American Profession Racing. However, as a result of Red Bull’s recent marketing campaign involving a sky dive from outer space, Armstrong lost his record of being the highest sportsman ever to adrenaline junkie Felix Baumgartner” Excuse me? Let’s just go over some things this paragraph implies. Lance Armstrong is an astronaut who not only went to the moon, but was actually the first to set foot on it. Lance Armstrong walked on the moon two years before he was born. Felix Baumgartner is a “sportsman.” Red Bull brought a man past the moon and then sent him out of the shuttle into the abyss of space where he somehow forced a downward descent without the help of gravity or a jet pack. Bravo, Karl Baxter. Take a bow.
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