Yardbarker
x
Week 2 in college football as explained by Kanye West songs
The Georgia Bulldogs wide receiver Isaiah McKenzie fumbles a punt recovered by the Nicholls State Colonels during the second half at Sanford Stadium for a game that felt like a nightmare for both teams. Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

Week 2 in college football as explained by Kanye West songs

College football season is in full swing, and with dozens of games going on every week, it can sometimes be difficult to keep up with all of the goings-on around the NCAA. But don't worry, we're here for you with a recap of the top stories from the week in college football as translated through the universal language of music.

This week, Kanye West will help us break the news down. (As a heads-up, a few of these songs will be very, very 'not-safe-for work' so be careful clicking, especially this first one.)

Blame Game -  Illinois State def. Northwestern, 9-7



Northwestern ended their 2015 season with 10 wins, and despite a spanking in the Outback Bowl courtesy of the Tennessee Volunteers, fans had high hopes for this season. After a loss first to Western Michigan and then to FCS opponent Illinois State, both at home, well, things have changed, and fans are looking for someone to blame. From the offensive line, to freshman QB Clayton Thorson, to the entire coaching staff for failing to develop players, the question is who's to blame for the pain? The team for underperforming, or Northwestern fans for, as Kanye puts it, being "satisfied being in love with the lie"?

See You In My Nightmares - Georgia def. Nicholls State, 26-24



Speaking of underwhelming performances against FCS opponents at home, Georgia's game against Nicholls State bears mentioning. Head coach Kirby Smart pegged freshman QB Jacob Eason to start this week, presumably hoping that an FCS opponent against which Georgia was favored by 7 touchdowns would provide valuable game experience for him in a low-pressure scenario. Well, Smart and Eason got a bit more than they bargained for. Eason was eventually benched after a costly fourth-quarter interception, and Greyson Lambert led Georgia to the win, but Georgia fans are already looking forward to "taking off on the road" and facing Mizzou next week. Suffice it to say, if Eason starts next week, he'll have to get back up on his grind and get the Nicholls State game out of his mind, or else it's going to be a long, nightmare-filled season.

Hold My Liquor - Central Michigan def. Oklahoma State, 30-27

Yup, coming out of a coma, waking up on a friend's sofa, and angrily smashing up a Toyota sounds exactly like the kind of morning that OSU fans had this past Sunday, after a mistake by the referees on an intentional grounding call allowed the Central Michigan Chippewas one last chance to upset the #17 team in the nation. And, well, wouldn't you know it, on a crazy Hail Mary play (and a lateral to boot), Central Michigan scored a touchdown to win the game. At this point, OSU fans were likely either furiously rummaging around for a bottle of very, very hard liquor, yelling at their TV, or both. And unfortunately, Sunday morning, not only are they hangin' on a hangover, but they've gotten confirmation that there's apparently no way to retroactively change the game's result. (The officiating crew from the game has been suspended for the next two weeks, but that's likely small comfort.)

Flashing Lights - Tennessee def. Virginia Tech, 45-24



Tennessee needed to bounce back big after a too-close-for-comfort game against Appalachian State last week, but a game against a strong Virginia Tech squad, held under the lights at Bristol Motor Speedway... well, Tennessee had their work cut out for them. But under the flashing lights of Bristol, in front of the record-smashing 156,990 fans, Tennessee came through in stunning fashion. Yes, fans know that Joshua Dobbs likes to show off, but they probably never thought he'd take it as far as five all-purpose touchdowns (3 passing, 2 rushing), and almost 200 total yards.

Paranoid - Pitt def. Penn State, 42-39

Franklin, don't worry about it. Penn state fans, don't even think about it.

You worry 'bout the wrong things, the wrong things.

After Pitt's victory over Penn State, in the game that promised to re-ignite the two schools' in-state rivalry, Penn State head coach James Franklin wasted no time in going after Pitt. He claimed that while his offense was going through its clap-based pre-snap cadence, Pitt defenders were clapping in order to intentionally disrupt the Penn State offense, and when he asked the officials about it, was told there was nothing they could do. Upon hearing this, Pitt clapped back, insinuating that Franklin was simply making paranoid excuses for his team's loss. Either way, it seems like the barbed words will continue through and until the two meet again next year.

Can you name the athletes featured in these rap lyrics?
SCORE:
0/23
TIME:
6:00
Corner store like Mr. Spare-a-Quarter Before Air Jordans, __s
Nas “No Introduction”
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Kick a snitch head through a goal like __
Nicki Minaj "Five-O"
David Beckham
My team something like the retro Celtics Which means consecutive championships Which means I’m __’s equivalent To the way I do a verse he handle the ball
Kendrick Lamar “Blood Sport Freestyle”
Larry Bird
You worthless fella You ain’t no athlete, you __
Jay Z "Pump It Up (Remix)"
Shawn Bradley
Cool as __, I’m blowin' a few Gs
J. Cole “Cost Me A Lot”
Drew Brees
And I’ve got mad hits like I was __
BeastieBoys "Sure Shot"
Rod Carew
I been __ with the shot Been cookin' with the sauce, chef, __ with the pot, boy
Drake "0 to 100"
Steph Curry
Trying to get my hands on some __s like __
Diddy "All About the Benjamins"
Horace Grant
They tried to put two 9’s on me, just like __
Fabolous "Ghetto"
Wayne Gretzky
Here comes __! The throw to the plate’s not in time! My, oh my, the Mariners win it!
Macklemore &RyanLewis "My Oh My"
Ken Griffey, Jr.
W’s on my mind, peep what I’m getting at. Attire proper, __ though slightly darker
Wale "Change Up"
Bryce Harper
And that’s realer than Real-Deal __
Snoop Dogg “Nuthin' But a G Thang”
Evander Holyfield
A-yo __ knows this (what?) and __ knows that (what?) But __ don’t know jack, cause __ can’t rap
A Tribe Called Quest "Scenario"
Bo Jackson
Told you before how I bring the dra-ma Slam __ and his Grandma-ma
Notorious BIG "Whatchu Want (The Commission)"
Larry Johnson
I gotta a friend with a pole in the basement (what?) I’m just __ing like __ (oh) Unless you gon' do it
Nelly "Hot in Herre"
Jason Kidd
Glitter, glisten, gloss, floss I catch a beat runnin' like __
Outkast "The Whole World"
Randy Moss
Pusha pitch it like he __ Striking them switch hitters Dodging popo
Pusha T "The Feature Heavy Song"
Hideo Nomo
RAP PLEASE US! Deliver scriptures similar to Jesus That you couldn’t catch if you was __
Pharoahe Monch "Official"
Ivan Rodriguez
7-7-3, Oh, since Kanye was a three-old Down the street from __, was practicing his free-throws
Chance The Rapper "Hey Ma"
Derrick Rose
Then hit stage and break a leg like __
Ludacris "World of Mouf (Freestyle)"
Lawrence Taylor
Cause to each its own and the lights is bright And I’m feeling like __ at a __ fight
Lil Wayne "Oh No"
Mike Tyson
Who are going through a struggle feels it and Relates, that’s great, it’s payback, __ Falling way back in the draft, turn nothing into something, still can Make that
Eminem "The Monster"
Russell Wilson
I’m as __ as __, not that good with names But I do remember your face from someplace
Common "Orange Pineapple Juice"
James Worthy

More must-reads:

Customize Your Newsletter

+

Get the latest news and rumors, customized to your favorite sports and teams. Emailed daily. Always free!

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.