Bowl guide for Thurs., Dec. 29: Birmingham, Belk, Alamo Bowls

Bowl month is approaching its climax, with the College Football Playoff set to kick of Saturday. But before that, we have bowls to round out the week.

Thursday's slate features some familiar teams and resurgent programs — looking at you, Virginia Tech and Colorado — and some loud-mouth coaches — hi, Bret Bielema! Let's take a look at what's on the slate this Thursday.

Birmingham Bowl
South Florida (10-2, American Athletic Conference) vs. South Carolina (6-6, SEC)
Location: Logan Field, Birmingham
Time: Thursday, Dec. 29, 2 p.m. ET/11 a.m. PT
Channel: ESPN

If you could have Steve Spurrier come back for just this game, what would his pregame money quote be regarding this matchup?

Shiloh Carder: "Never gave this Florida school much thought since they were always beneath me ... geographically or otherwise."

Sam Greszes: "You know what USF stands for, right? Unwilling to Schedule a Football team. Their best win was Navy. And they lost to Temple. Remind me why the Bulls are ranked?"

Daniel Tran: “Some people say that USF stands for ‘U Stay Forever.’ They definitely don't stay for the football.”

Mascot edge: Call me crazy, but I just don't see Gamecocks faring very well against Bulls.

Belk Bowl
Arkansas (7-5, SEC) vs. Virginia Tech (9-4, ACC)
Location: Bank of America Stadium, Charlotte
Time: Thursday, Dec. 29, 5:30 p.m. ET/2:30 p.m. PT
Channel: ESPN

What does Bret Bielema really think of Virginia Tech, no matter what his apology says?

Shiloh Carder: I honestly don't think much of this "controversy." I've personally never have been a big fan of the coaches poll. I mean, how can a coach at a Power 5 program have the time to look at these teams and rank them accordingly? Sure, they do it themselves. Sure. Plus you know there's a conflict of interest when ranking your conference teams could affect your own strength of schedule and power ranking.

Sam Greszes: My editor has informed me that my previous answer for this question included words that were "not appropriate for the audience of this website, or indeed any website" and that I should "be ashamed for turning the English language into something so profane, vulgar,and putridly offensive."

So, uh, I guess I'll just say that Bielema thinks Virginia Tech isn't very good.

Daniel Tran: He definitely doesn’t think they’re a top 25 team, that’s for sure. But does it really matter? He doesn't need to include any team he doesn’t want to in his personal poll.

He might not have meant anything by it, but it was a stroke of rotten luck that he got paired with a team that he left off the final coaches poll, which is made public. Unfortunately, that means bulletin board material for Virginia Tech.

Mascot edge: Razorbacks are wild boars that can do some damage, and I have to believe they'd feast on a Hokie, whether we're talking a Virginia Tech fan or the odd bird of a mascot.

Alamo Bowl
Oklahoma State (9-3, Big 12) vs. Colorado (10-3, Pac-12)
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio
Time: Thursday, Dec. 29, 9 p.m. ET/6 p.m. PT
Channel: ESPN

Colorado, despite its move to the Pac-12, still feels like a Big 12 (fine, Big Eight) team in its bones. As one of the nicer surprises of the 2016 season, do the Buffaloes still have enough strength left in the defense after their 41-10 pounding at the hands of the Washington Huskies to handle the high-powered Cowboys?

Shiloh Carder: The question is if their offense can hang with the Cowboys. Oklahoma State's offense is potent, but their defense really isn't. If Colorado can move the ball effectively, then we could have ourselves a good ol' fashioned shootout in the heart of Texas.

Sam Greszes: I really don't have an answer for this, actually. The Huskies are a great offensive team, and they've earned their playoff spot, but at the same time, Colorado shouldn't get a pass. Their defense was flummoxed pretty completely.

At the same time, Oklahoma State is not Washington, and they've had their own struggles on the defensive side of the ball. This game is going to be a shootout, so I think it's less a question of whether the Buffalo defense has enough in the tank to handle the Cowboys, and more a question of whether or not they can slow them down long enough for the offense to score.

Daniel Tran: Colorado has had one heck of ride this year. The Buffaloes became bowl-eligible for the first time since 2007, and they won their first Pac-12 South Division Title ever. Unfortunately, they will end their season with two really tough matchups.

The Buffaloes gave up nearly 300 yards rushing against Washington, and it doesn't get any easier for them in Alamo Bowl.

They face ab Oklahoma State that has 1,000-yard rusher Justice Hill and quarterback Mason Rudolph, who has 3,777 yards passing and 25 touchdowns to his name. The Cowboys might not be a playoff team like Washington is, but their offense is just as formidable.

Better hair: Mike Gundy or Ralphie the Buffalo? 

Shiloh Carder: Well, buffalo hairstyles haven't changed much in several hundred years, so ...

Sam Greszes: Ooooh, can the answer be both? I don't think I can choose between either luxurious, meticulously coiffed mane. You'll have to excuse me, I'm coming down with a case of the vapors.

Daniel Tran: Mike Gundy’s hair isn’t a mullet, it’s a lie. At least Ralphie's is majestically natural as he gallops on the field. I’m with the Buffalo on this one.

Mascot edge: Buffaloes are big and can easily trample anything in their path, but Cowboys are pretty accustomed to dealing with Buffaloes in the open range. Tough call, but I'm leaning toward Pistol Pete and his accessory.